Secrets of Life

There are some secrets that I have learned over the years of my life that have made life better. A lot better. It would be an understatement to call these nice-to-haves, because they actually bring joy to the everyday journey we all face. Yet they really aren't taught in school, and if my parents taught them to me I never listened...I certainly didn't pass them on intentionally to my kids. But it's not too late. Maybe some might be transferrable without all the hard knocks it took for me to get them through my thick skull.

Here's the funny part...they really aren't secrets at all. We all know them. Just like the farmer told the city slicker salesman when he gave him advice, "I already know how to farm twice as good as I do!", we actually know and understand these things already...understand them intellectually that is. I think the majority of us are like that farmer, with common sense enough to understand smart things, but not enough to actually do them on a regular basis. Thats why confessionals and counselors are filled to the brim with all the customers they can handle. But perhaps some will listen...and apply...what it took me years, no, decades, to make progress in.

So here is the first - Contentment. It's the practice of being satisfied with what you have or with who you are.


Seems obvious, right? Well, try doing it. Rather, try being it. Here is the real story. Most of us spend our days trying to get more stuff, eat too much of what we shouldn't or achieve some new level, all in the interest of satisfying our desires. There's no end to the lists of things we don't have today that become what we "need" for tomorrow. Even those of us who think we are generally content buy into the social norms that tell us we should not be satisfied, because satisfied is just plain lazy, right? That's the reason I, for one, set so many New Years resolutions that I just blew past without keeping the before February rolled around.

If you are content you will know it by just looking in the mirror. If you are genuinely satisfied with the person you are, and your appearance, that's a very good first step. Then take a walk around. If you like the place you live in, you are on the right track. If, on the other hand, your rooms look too small (or large), or messy, or you don't like the color, texture, clutter or emptiness, then you've got some work to do in the contentment category. Then try watching TV for 15 minutes. Modern marketing tells us that life simply cannot be lived without, the thing that is being advertised, or at a minimum it will make your life so much better you really should go out and get one.

Recently I have come to a place where I see the importance of contentment since it so affects my attitude. When I look around these days I see things are truly wonderful. Not perfect, but really great. Now it may sound more like blind optimism, and you may be right, in part. Optimism tends to see a glass half full. It's the same glass, however, that the pessimist sees as half empty. That's the really important part....you actually can see things differently, if you live with contentment. Even Mick Jagger had a good perspective on this when he wrote "You can't always get what you want...but if you try sometimes, you get what you need". We could talk about wants and needs for quite a while, but that's not the point.

Before you say it, sure, we can alway make improvements...God knows I need them. When I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, for example. And plenty more places. These are pleasantly called "opportunities", and depending on how you view them, they can bring you down. I have simply learned to NOT let them bring me down.

So what about you...are you content? My guess is we all have a little unsettledness. Not that I have achieved this, but I'd say it is one of those secrets that needs to be passed on, don't you?